A little more than friends.

I've always gotten along better with boys than girls.

I think it stems back to when I was the only girl on my street growing up; I spent my childhood playing Star Wars and Super Friends, always playing the part of Princess Leia or Wonder Woman.

I was content to play with trucks in the sandbox, or catch tadpoles in the stream. I preferred my Han Solo doll over any Barbie doll, and wanted the hot wheels garage for Christmas, not a doll house.

When I was in high school I had my close group of girlfriends, but I always had a few guys that I considered some of my best friends too.

It wasn't like I was a tom boy; I just liked talking to guys. There was no bullshit. They told you like it was, and never got too emotional. You could sit and play cards, talk about music, cars or hockey. They told stupid jokes, were a little crude, and sometimes even obnoxious, but I always felt comfortable with them.

I took drafting class so that I could hang out with the guys. It was absolutely my favourite class in school. Sitting there with Doug and Jason, designing party houses, finding ways to annoy the teacher, sneaking out for smoke breaks and discussing Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. It was awesome.

I loved to sit and play Euchre with Brent at lunch, and hang out in the cafeteria with Marc. I look back fondly at the lunch hours I spent in the stairwell talking to Greg, and the afternoons skipping school to go and get high with Cameron.

And then there were the guys that became a little more than friends. Although they started out just like the other guys, talking on the phone, hanging out after school, getting drunk together at a party, somehow, it would change. It would start with an innocent flirtation, or maybe a late night phone call that got a little too hot. Perhaps we would have had a little too much to drink one night, or one of us would be sad over a recent breakup.

There would just be that moment where you knew you wanted to be closer. A hug would turn into a kiss, hands exploring, turning into even more. One moment you would be innocently flirting, and the next the conversation would heat up and become more than a little suggestive. There was no stopping it. Teenage hormones would take over. That need to feel connected to someone, to feel close, to feel wanted.

I'd usually keep these moments to myself; it was something I did not even tell my closest friends about. Although I saw no harm in it, I knew that there were those that would, and my reputation was bad enough as it was.

So I kept the summer evening spent in the forest with one boy to myself. I never told anyone about the other boy that used to drop by my house when no one was home. And the other that liked to get together in a secluded park, so we could make out at the swings. There was one whose bedroom I would spend the afternoon in, before going out to meet with our friends. And the other, an ex-boyfriend, that liked to sneak off when we were at parties for something familiar and comfortable.

The best part about it was, because we were straight with each other, we could always go right back to being friends, just like we were before we took our clothes off. And I enjoyed having our little secrets, a reason to wink at each other, a look or a touch that no one else in the room would understand. It made our friendship seem special and unique.

I understand that for many, that type of friendship is not for them. But for me it worked. I never saw sex as a bad thing, and could not understand why people made such a big deal about it. I was young, and single. Hurting no one and doing what felt right for me. And what I am left with is some really great memories, some wonderful moments, and no regrets.